As I sat in my boss's office a few minutes ago discussing the trajectory of my intern work for the rest of the summer, I realized how much I'm going to miss this, the sense of competence and power. I may be doing menial tasks, but they're tasks that keep the bigger picture going. In a strange way I'm running with the big dogs, or at least nipping at their heels carrying a tote of thousands of pages of paperwork to make sure they're prepared for their next meeting.
But when I get to Japan on July 25, I start over. It doesn't matter how competent and well-spoken I am in an American workplace. When I get to use English, my eloquence won't be appreciated, and no matter how hard I try I'm still going to look like a child in an adult's suit. It's a terrifying thought. As former Student Government President/Model United Nations President/general over-achiever, the thought of being set back so far is akin to having the rug pulled out from under me, rolled up and smacked over my head.
I can only hope that the cream which rises to the top in English can also rise in Japanese.
